Monday, 20 February 2012


I've been thinking a lot about what my doctor said, I can't stop thinking about it to be honest. I really want to be able to get a good nights sleep, I want to be able to turn out my light without having to feel scared. It's my own bedroom and I'm just scared, of what? My own thoughts!

I really hate talking, I just know I'll burst into tears as soon as I admit I need help. I don't want to cry. I don't want to sit in a room awkwardly with someone and discuss my problems, mainly because I'm scared of it. Scared of facing reality. I know I have to though, I can't go on like this. I just don't really know what to do.

I can't afford to take time off work, but I'm going to have to, I can't cope with work stress on top of everything else. I'm so lost, so stuck I just don't know which way to turn.

1 comment:

  1. It is so hard to talk about things that we fear. I heard a saying years ago that has stuck with me
    "I can only know that much of myself that I have had the courage to share with others"
    This journey you are on is scary so I am not surprised you are stressed.Having a Transplant is a hard road to travel you must learn how to ask for help when you need to. You may need to burst into tears! I have in the past and it helped, when you do let it out you will feel better.It is always better to share problems than cope alone. There are many people in the transplant community like me who know just how you feel:)